Our relationship with ourselves, life and others is holistic in that it should be harmonious. If it isn't then we get discord and disharmony and then we start to do and think silly things. Our own stability is based upon our perceptions and understandings of life and how we can freely share these with others that mean something to us and similarly we mean something to them. It's rarely an even balance, however it has to be at a level that sustains meaning otherwise life becomes shallow and hopeless and we lose the plot after that starts and begin making things up, not lies, but scenarios to try and kid ourselves and others that all is well, when it isn't.